Sunday, August 31, 2008
Sense of Safety
In reading "Floor Sample" I was drawn once again to begin working with "The Artist's Way", naturally. In the past, I pick it up work with it, start on a project and stop working on the exercises. I have a few projects I have started but have not completed, and I'm okay with that. They will come in their own time. An interesting thing happened this morning as I was working with affirmations. My censor didn't have much to say. I started to think that maybe it's because of the continued work on my writing, even though projects are not complete, I am happy with the progress I'm making. I carry one lesson of many that I learned in AA. We strive for "progress, not perfection". When I quit drinking, that feeling didn't leave me immediately. If I couldn't do it perfectly, I wasn't doing it. As I listened to others in my meetings and shared my experience, strength and hope, I came to believe that any progress I made was better than doing absolutely nothing. And I think my censor agrees; it has now become a quietly encouraging ally. Any progress is better than what used to happen. I'm physically sober, working on my emotional sobriety and continuing to be ever so patient with myself. I can remember years ago discounting advise of writing coaches and even myself to take it easy. Now "easy does it" is the mantra that I live by in all areas of my life; work, exercise, food, relationships, friendships and, amazingly enough, it works much better. I still am somewhat tired mentally. It has been a whirlwind year, but a journey worth traveling, and one I will continue. I am in a safe place, with the right people around me who care about me and who I care about. I am in a beautiful place in Colorado that nurtures me and protects me. I am in a safe job that is pretty easy to do on a daily basis and gives me positive interaction with others and doesn't task my mind enough to interfere with my writing. My home group is the best I could have ever hoped for, so my sense of safety to explore my creativity more thoroughly is absolutely solid.