Saturday, September 27, 2008

I have a friend

I have good friends these days and am grateful for everyone around me and the support and love and friendship they give me. I may give a fraction of what they give me back to them. I have a friend at work who has always been quiet, unimposing, laughs easily, works hard, is raising a daughter on her own, taking care of her dad, paying bills, and living life. She comes from a very large family. Her grandmother recently died and was hailed as the oldest living person in Mesa County (she was 103). When I got home from New Mexico I shared my story with some people and as I've grown and learned and become who I am they were right there with me, supporting, telling me I was wrong; yet loving and laughing and sometimes crying with me, and letting me learn my lessons.

I told her some time ago that I had to throw all of my plants away when I came home. One was a Shamrock that I had gotten at a church yard sale when I was married. It was a little wimpy looking plant that my ex-husband thought would never become anything. I had that plant for fifteen years and it was beautiful. I didn't care for it well while I was self-destructing, and then when I went to Rehab it sat a month without water. Then I completely fell apart and didn't see the point of trying to bring it back and threw it away in one of my many drunken rages. So I threw it away with all my other plants. Two weeks after I shared that story we had Shamrocks delivered to the store, and my friend bought one and gave it to me. I cried. She is always so thoughtful, so caring and so giving to everyone around her. She pays attention to the little things. I've tried to return some of the kindness. She has asked me to get some legal documents for her, I've answered her questions, I've listened when her daughter is going through hell with her own father who is alcoholic.

Today at work, her brother came in and told her he needed to talk to her now. He told her that another brother had been killed in a car accident. She collapsed completely. How much more is she going to have to go through? How much does one person have to endure? How much can a person carry on their back and still stand? I believe she will still stand regardless the weight placed on her. She will be as strong as she needs to be for everyone around, she will ask nothing of them, that's not her style. She will come to work because she must, she will continue to care for her dad because she must, she will continue to raise a terrific little girl because she is a mother. She will continue to be a great friend, because that is what she does so well.

When I look at her I want to take her pain away, give her all the greatness of the world and be there for her as she is for everyone else. She is in my prayers tonight and every night. She deserves so much more, yet is content where she stands. She is a truly amazing woman. Unstoppable, capable and at her very core, kind to every human being she meets.

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