Monday, February 16, 2009
I've often thought
I've often thought that if I could say the right thing, everything would be okay. I've often thought that if I did the right things, it would all work out. I forget, because of the awful things that I said and did before, whether I remember them or not, that there are consequences, and some of those consequences are permanent. I turned a corner one day and didn't think, I acted, and that action led to other actions that can never be taken back, can never be repaired, and the consequences are forever. No one can go back and make a new beginning, but can start from where they are and make a brand new ending. The life I wanted, the life I tried for is gone. The life I have now has potential in ways that were never possible before, because now I see the truth and understand the consequences of my behavior and actions. Decisions I made every day had a price, and that price was dear. Decisions I make today also have a price, therefore, I make better decisions, and I make sure I am willing to pay the price. How I treat people, places, things, myself define who I am today. How I treated people then defined who I was, and I am not that person anymore, and I am not required to live in the old definition. The big book says that we will no longer wish to forget the past, nor close the door on it. Frequently, through time I have wanted to close the door, but I can't. I have to look at the price I paid and the lessons I learned in order to grow and become a better person. A person with character and ability, one day at a time.