For most writers, me included, we dream of the good life that writing affords the few wildly successful authors such as Stephen King, Danielle Steel, and Tom Clancy to name a few. Many other writers struggle to get near to published, or even read by friends. I have given much lip service to my writing life. I always will write something and tell myself it's not bad, but it certainly isn't publishable and set it aside. I have several projects started, none close to completion and if I were to complete them, they'd probably go in a box. I used to think that I wrote because that's how I wanted to make a living. I still think that sometimes, but my thoughts are more tempered because of the reality of the business and of who I am. Frankly, I'm too chicken still to put my work out there for critique, I like food on the table too much to quit my day job and make a solid go of it. I have a story that I would love to share with the world, but it's not beating me to get on the page.
It hasn't helped that I've been reading Charles Sasser's book "Magic Steps to Writing Success". He has been seriously successful as a freelance writer, has shown no fear in taking on any task that may be fodder for a writing project. He seems to exhibit boundless energy and passion for life and knows above all else that he HAS to write. He has sacrificed everything to make the writing life a reality for himself and his persistence has paid off. The problem is that when I read that, I know in my heart I'm not willing to do all that he has done. I'm not that passionate. I like writing and I would love to push past my fear and let others read my work, but I'm not willing to live in a house with no electricity or heat, or even wonder if I will get a check so I can eat tomorrow. Simply put, I'm not willing to go to any lengths to be a writer. I was willing to do that for my sobriety, but not for my writing. All I guess I can do with that new revelation is keep writing for the sheer joy of it and live the life that's working for me knowing that writing keeps me centered and balanced and whole.