Today I close escrow on a town home for Callie, Abbie, Nicholas and me. It is a big day and one certainly filled with mixed emotions. I never believed I deserved anything good in my life and I set out to prove it. Boy, did I prove it, and then some. Lost in the abyss of addiction and one bad choice after another because I couldn't stop drinking. I wouldn't stop drinking. I drove, systematically, everything and everyone I loved out of my life, some for good. Three short years ago, I was standing at the crossroads the big book talks about and was literally looking at the choice of life or death. Frankly, I was leaning towards death. Somehow, something bigger than me pulled me from that deep, dark hole and saved my life. I will be three years sober in July, and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic. There are those that believe because of the choices I made while drinking, I don't deserve anything good in this life now or ever. I question it sometimes to be sure. I still don't think sometimes I deserve anything good. The thing that comes to mind in this now sober head, is that I deserve what I work for. When I was drinking, I didn't work at anything but drinking, so the results were what you'd expect. For the last three years I have worked hard at my sobriety, a job, creating balance in my life and keeping my priorities straight. I think I have succeeded in almost all areas because I know sobriety is my number one priority above absolutely everything else. To those I loved and lost because of my choices then, I wish you well. No matter what, I hope you find what you are looking for and that it brings you happiness and serenity. I never thought I would walk this world without a partner, but I know now this path is mine to walk alone and I believe that with my continued sobriety and the power of program, all will be well.