Devil's Canyon

We took Callie out to hike in Devil's Canyon yesterday. It's a beautiful place to go, there are lots of other dogs, and she can go off leash since it's BLM land. She got a kick out of it big time. I don't have many pictures of her there because we were hiking fast and I shot a bunch of pictures of the scenery.


Pretty everywhere we looked out there.
We did manage to get Callie to sit still for a split second to pose for this with Mom. As usual, she prefers rocks. She likes to sit on them, push them with her nose, carry them in her mouth, etc. I call her the Rock Hound.

Water Hound:

This morning she got back into the water thing. She forgot she liked to swim for a couple of weeks; I don't know what that was about. But today she played in the water quite a bit. I had to take some movies back to Blockbuster and I had to walk the dog. Perfect walking distance, and took care of two chores at once. Sometimes I amaze myself with my efficiency...:-)

I digress...we were walking along Patterson in front of Quizno's and their sprinklers were running. One of the sprinkler heads was broken and it was bubbling like a little fountain and creating a small pond in the rocks. Callie was a bit timid of the sprinkler at first and bit at the water a couple times. She discovered it was great fun. She would chomp down on the water and get the bubbling to fill her mouth. She stepped on it with her paw and looked around to see where it was, when she moved her paw it shot up in her face, so she attacked it again. She became for a short time an obsessive-compulsive dog fixated on the water. It was fun to watch her, but I had to keep her moving. People on Patterson were rubber-necking and she was going to cause a wreck!

She continues to grow about an inch a minute. I don't know how big she will be, but she is already extremely powerful. Every day I continue to enjoy the heck out of her!

In a Cemetery

In a cemetery (Green Mountain to be exact) in south Boulder are four graves. In each of those graves are my great great-grandparents. The Haworth's are my Mom's family, the Kenner's are my Dad's family. The cemetery is at the base of Chautauqua Park that leads to the Flatiron's, the most photographed mountains in America, and the most cherished by rock climbers. What's interesting about the graves is the headstones are back to back, we imagine that means the caskets are head to head. Both sets of grandparents died before my Mom and Dad knew each other, and they were attending another grandparent funeral when they made the discovery.

My friend Gigi lived two blocks from the cemetery for a while, Murphy (my dog when I was married) and I would go visit her, walk through the cemetery that connects to a trail leading to Chautauqua Park and the trails the wind through under and behind the Flatirons. As outdoorsy and active as Boulder people, we could hike for hours and only see a couple of other people. Bears were more often spotted than other humans!

I have a long family history with Boulder. I am a third-generation native, but no longer live there. There are many things that I miss, but I don't see myself going back there to live. Where I live now, there is a long family history as well, and life here seems to make more sense to me.

Isn't that precious

Two nicely dressed ladies happen to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South.

When the conversation centered on whether they had any children the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me." The lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz." Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet." Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"

"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady.

"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh my God! What on earth for?".

The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying "Who gives a shit?" I learned to say, "Well, isn't that precious?

That first drink

Someone called me at work last night, apparently very drunk, but hung up before I could get to the phone. I hope it's not who I think it was. This person has been struggling for some time, and sits in strong acceptance/denial. I understand, I sat there for a very long time. Pretty soon we have to face the fact that drinking for us leads to extremely egregious behavior and the damage we do is almost unbelievable. I remember my first drink after five months of sobriety like it was yesterday. It was the beginning of the end of a potentially great relationship with someone I loved very much, but I couldn't see that coming.

I had made a huge geographic change after only a short time sober, which is strongly advised against by any recovering addict (I didn't know until a couple of weeks ago why. One out of two people who make as big a change as I made drink. No one knows why, but we do). But I was in love and still had poor judgement with such a short time out of the bag. I was having a pretty good day, things were just cruising along. I figured I'd get a job soon, I had the house pretty well put together, we could walk through it at least. He was at work, and I stopped at a convenience store. I was thinking I'd just have one and the bottle would last me about a week. Ha! It lasted about 10 minutes, but the nightmare lasted eight months. Until I had to go to rehab, relapsed after that, got kicked out, and had to sell everything I owned and come home with my tail between my legs. The memories that I can recall are so painful. I believe they will be with me the rest of my life. I don't think that's a bad thing, it will help keep me from picking up that first drink ever again. Because I know...it will never be "just one". The hard fought self-respect I have worked so hard to re-establish with myself will be gone. The spiritual, financial and emotional bankruptcy that I have worked through will be gone. My new life that I cherish so much will be gone. Callie will be gone, Abbie will be gone. Any potential new love I am thinking about will be gone. And it will be that fast! I still hurt so bad over what I did...and I did more damage even after I sobered up by blaming the other person; but I move forward because there can be great growth in the healing of that pain and in the end, I have to believe I will be a better person...I hope.

Walking the Dog

Callie and I hit the road each morning after my meeting. I used to take her with me and leave her in the car so we could go straight from the meeting to our morning adventure. Then she ate my steering wheel, so now I go home and pick her up. When we first started walking, a walk around the block was a big deal for her, she was that little. Now the girl can cover some territory! We have so many great places to walk in this town, but our favorite has been our own little neighborhood. We live about six blocks from Sherwood Park, so we wander down there, do a loop or two. Sherwood has the miles marked and it is a one mile loop once around. That gives her some interaction with other dogs on the way. Then we head over to 1st street and up to Hillcrest to do some uphill and play in the irrigation canal. It is tough to find hill work around here unless you drive a little ways out of town. The valley floor is flat, flat, flat. Then we wind our way by St. Mary's Hospital and home again. It is always a nice walk, we usually see the same people. They make a big fuss over Callie that she just eats up! It feels good to get out and do the physical work, I get tired of my own mind, it begins to feel like a prison, the same thing over and over again. Writing sometimes helps, but my brain still churns. There is still so much of the past I have unresolved with myself. I work at it, but if I sit too long it starts to run like a squirrel in my head.

On top of Hillcrest is the remains of the KREX-TV station. I've heard their going to rebuild it, but I haven't seen a lot of progress. It burned to the ground last spring. I hadn't been living in my current place very long, and Mom and I were going to do something and saw the smoke. When she was driving over she had that fear that it might be closer to me. I was afraid it might be close to Jim. I didn't know where he lived at the time. It was a Sunday, a quiet day in this town, most everyone is at church. The reporters, camera folks and crew come into the store frequently and that day was no different. They reported an electrical short just as they were going on the air. The fire spread fast, the fire department couldn't get there fast enough. The fire took everything except the tower that I can see from my house, and can been seen all over town. I know they are back on the air, but I don't know where they are broadcasting from, and I hear they will rebuild, but it's anybodys guess as to when. In the meantime, Callie and I cover our miles building her strength each a day and enjoying the great fall weather that if finally here, clearing my mind, making room for the new and hoping that someday I can forgive myself the past.

It's good to be the Dog

Callie usually sleeps beside me on the bed and Abbie sleeps on the pillows. Callie was watching Abbie one night and then decided to give it a try herself. She disovered Abbie was onto something pretty neat. I just love that face!

Sad, but it happens...I know

ASPEN, Colo.—An Aspen police officer has been fired and arrested on alcohol and weapons charges after the chief said he came to work drunk.
Jim Crowley, an 18-year veteran of the Aspen force, was dismissed last week and arrested on suspicion of driving while ability-impaired and prohibited use of a weapon.
Police Chief Richard Pryor says the weapons charge was filed because Crowley had a firearm in his holster at the time he was allegedly intoxicated.
Attorney Lawson Wills says Crowley went to work hung over and had not been drinking before work. Wills also says no one saw Crowley driving.
Wills says he is providing legal advice to Crowley as a friend but will not be his attorney in court proceedings.

I was fired from two jobs for drinking. The first time I was fired I denied drinking on the job. The sad thing is, I went out and got another job instead of help (I was that far in denial of my ability to "handle" my problem), and was fired from that job as well. It was only then that I decided the rest of the world was right and I needed help. Rehab didn't keep me sober, but I learned a lot. Sadly, I had to lose a lot more than a job to get sober. Thank God I did. The life I have now is actually worth living.