Miss Callie's not so little anymore

Callie is going through another growth spurt. She was spayed a couple of weeks ago and has decided to muscle out. She's not getting any taller, but her muscles have seemed to ripple out. I swear I'm not giving her steroids! The Pit in her is starting to show a little more, but I think the lab features may win out. As you can see Abbie is thrilled to observe all of this...she's never to be found when Callie and I go out for a walk for the simple reason that Callie becomes a jumping bean while getting ready. When I come home with Callie in tow, Abbie gives me a look very similar to the picture and then skulks away.

What do you want?

It's a question I've heard posed a lot lately. Not to me. In books I've been reading, movies I've been watching, other people I've heard talking. It is not a question that I was ever asked by anyone. I'm not sure I could have answered it anyway. Fearing disapproval, withholding of love, abandonment, I would skirt the topic. If someone had ever asked me, had ever cared enough to ask me, I doubt I would have answered honestly. I'm not sure I knew. The result: unfulfilled desires and goals, unfulfilling relationships with men, drinking at the son-of-a-bitch for not caring about me. All because I never said what I wanted (Actually, I did once and was berated for it). I surrounded myself with people and especially men who were clear on their goals, their wants and sometimes tried to make them my own, and they didn't care about my wishes anyway. The result: unfulfilled desires and goals, unfulfilling relationships with men, drinking at the son-of-a-bitch for not caring about me. The truth, I didn't know what I wanted other than to be loved and accepted. The amount of money I spent on self-help books to "fix" me so I would be loved and accepted was astronomical.

Am I clear on what I want today? Very. I understand my goals, my desires, my wants more than I ever have in my life. I take responsibility for my past acts (this is not a blamefest, so I don't want to hear that it is). If someone were to ask me today what I wanted, I would be able to express it clearly, concisely and honestly without fear of losing love, being abandoned, or even being disliked. The truth is that I am comfortable enough with myself to be able to take care of myself in ways I never could before. Details of life sometimes perplex me, scare me and confuse me. But in the big picture I know what I want and am able to move through any day to day challenges for the end result. I don't sweat the small stuff. I may perspire a little, but I don't sweat it.

Change

They always say time changes things,but you actually have to change them yourself.- Andy Warhol

I was thinking about this the other day. I can remember being locked in my victim mentality and drinking at my problems and blaming others and thinking things were never going to change, and, if that was the case, I really wanted to die. That's one of the things I don't understand about the drinking demon, if he kills you, how does he get more booze? (take the remark as ironic.)

Then things changed. Something bigger than me pulled me from the depths of despair, I still don't know what, and life changed pretty dramatically, and in reflection very quickly. As things continued to change, some for better, some for worse, I began to build momentum by simply moving forward and staying open to the possibilities in front of me because I had no other choice. Obviously, I wasn't successful in killing myself, I was embarrassed because I couldn't stop drinking, and my behavior under the influence was at best completely outrageous. Therefore, it was time to do something different. In the recesses of my mind, AA was growing as the possibility that has since become a recipe for living (the easiest recipe I've ever followed). It is my willingness to change and grow and consider other avenues that makes my life finally get better and become worth living. I have come to believe that AA not only helps us get sober through the support of like-minded individuals, but as a group, we can lift each other to a better place that helps us make the changes that we have to make to live complete, satisfying lives.

I have a friend in the group who says, tomorrow may not be better, but it will be different. I believe that what he says is true. I also believe that if I do the work, if I make the changes necessary within me, it does get better. I don't question it any longer.

Grandpa Lowe died today, October 26, 2008

I worked today and then went to Mom and Dads. We celebrated my aunts 65th birthday tonight, even though she won't technically be 65 until the 29th. That is another writing practice topic. I'll just say it was a fun event.

Dad told me that Grandpa died today about 5:00 p.m. I was still at work. The things I remember about Grandpa are his kindness and tenacity. He took me in as if I was one of his own blood-related grandchildren. He loved me and never abandoned me, even when I had abandoned myself. He worried about his family. He wanted everyone to be happy, healthy and in love. His last few years were very difficult for him physically, he developed Parkinson's Disease. It was extremely debilitating, yet his mind was sharp as a tack. It grew increasing frustrating to him that his thoughts were clear, yet he couldn't express them because his body wouldn't cooperate and he couldn't speak clearly. He lived a good, stable and well-managed life. Lessons I would do well to learn. A couple of years ago, Grandma Warner gave me an article from our local paper about his time on the Grand Junction High School Football team.

The article is called "The Zero Gang", and I can't find it on a search of the online Sentinel. The story is a terrific chronicle of the 1936 football season at Grand Junction High. The Tigers were undefeated, never tied and never scored on, racking 506 points and a Class A championship. No team has challenged that record to this day. Grandpa is quoted in the article. He didn't play high school football except his senior year when he went out "because I wanted to see what it was like." He said he picked a good year. They had a fantastic coach, a stellar team who believed they could do exactly what they did. "As a man believes so he will achieve".

I'll miss you Grandpa. I love you.

My family

It has been good to see my family. I have never met my second cousins, Azure and Iris. Azure is four, Iris is almost one. They are my favorite cousin Jefferson's kids. I had never met his wife either, but when their relationship started I heard all sorts of strange things, however, they seem to be content, and focused on raising the kids. I don't think Jefferson set out to have children, but Gail got pregnant and he decided it might be okay. I know it also helps that he's on the road with the Yamaha team several months out of the year. Everyone is looking good, having fun and living life.

One of the things that I always tried to do in my younger days was keep up with them, adventure wise. I don't do that anymore. They have money, chasing money only fed my drinking problem. They have each other, and I have recently decided to stay single. They haven't put themselves through the hell I put myself through, so they haven't had to rebuild a life from scratch. And oddly, the jealously I used to feel about their exciting lives isn't there. I'm happy for them, and it really is fun to hear their stories, but my life is pretty okay, I am okay with the direction I'm going. I go to meetings, I work, I write, I have Callie. It's a very quiet life, missing the high drama and insanity of my drinking days, and the respite is much needed. And I also know my life is subject to change. As I rebuild I'll be able to do more, go more places, have a life that I'm content with living because it is by my design. And I think contentment is what we're all after in the end. Life itself is a challenge, but with inner peace comes just a feeling of "this is okay the way it is", and there is something really neat around the corner if I keep my eyes open.

Selfishness, Self-centeredness!

"That we think is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate.

So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They rise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so."

I've heard these sentences hundreds of times over the last year, and nodded my head in seeming acknowledgement...but sat in denial regarding several aspects of my own selfishness and self-centeredness. I've carried one specific and destructive denial for many months and kept it to myself or shrouded it in argument that, in the end, made absolutely no sense. My drinking, my behavior while drinking, my fear, my self-delusion hung on tight through pathetic self-righteousness. It would not shake loose because I wouldn't let it go. I had myself completely convinced of my position. I blamed, I railed, I threw temper tantrums when called on my shit by a non-alcoholic. So today, finally, tired of the blaming, tired of the self-pity, tired, of self-delusion, I took it to the meeting. I let other alcoholics help me through my character defects regarding this matter. And I digested their feedback. It cleared my head, helped me see myself through not so rose-colored glasses, and helped me finally understand those sentences above. My troubles have been of my own making. No one else had any part in the destruction I created, no one else was responsible for my insanity. That is a very hard pill to swallow, but I finally did it, and the relief is tremendous. I alone am responsible for my behavior, drunk or sober.

There is nothing but truth in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. As I related my struggle with this issue, they listened. Then they related their experience, strength and hope about a similar issue that they faced, and I listened. In my mind, there is no one who has the ability to tell the truth to an alcoholic except another alcoholic, simply because we have shared so many similar experiences. I am so grateful I have found this group and am willing to uncover, discover and discard, and am in a safe place to do so. It is a very simple program, but it is never easy to let go of my short-comings. I'm so grateful I keep going back, that I listen, and eventually I learn.

Eat Greek

The following is from Dr. Agatston. Greek and Middle Eastern foods are really my favorite. I love the flavors, the freshness and the variety. There was a Greek restaurant in my town, but it didn't make it. I think the Latino population has won out, which can be good healthy food, yet the restaurants here still do a lot of frying and cooking with mondo amounts of lard. Fortunately, the store I'm working at now has a world class Deli and chef prepared choices. The good news is they lean towards lighter, heart healthy fair which naturally includes Greek cuisine. I hit the jackpot for food. I'm not doing much cooking these days with my schedule and busy life, but I'm still trying to cut back and eat healthier. I am dropping some weight, but Callie and I need to put on more miles and I need to add the time for some weight training.

Enjoying Greek and Middle Eastern cuisines fits right in with the South Beach Diet lifestyle. Countries like Greece, Lebanon, Israel, and Turkey rely on fresh whole foods such as lean chicken and seafood, nutrient-dense fruits and vegetables, fiber-rich whole grains, beans, and healthy fats such as those found in avocados as well as extra-virgin olive oil — all staples of the South Beach Diet. This way of eating is one of the primary reasons that the Greek population has a lower incidence of heart disease, stomach and lung cancers, stroke, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, and obesity than the populations of the United States and other Western nations. People eating the South Beach Diet way also experience these health benefits while losing unwanted weight.

When it comes to eating out at Greek and Middle Eastern restaurants, try kebabs made with lean grilled meat (like lamb, sirloin, and skinless chicken breast) or seafood (such as shrimp, scallops, and salmon). Consider vegetables, whole-grain dishes such as couscous and bulgur, and dips such as hummus (made from chickpeas) and tzatziki (a blend of cucumber, garlic, and yogurt) served with whole-grain pita bread (if available) or vegetable dippers. These cuisines also employ plenty of fresh herbs and seasonings, so eating right is delicious and satisfying.

Little Miss Callie

That innocent cute little puppy...HA! She's not bad, really, I just haven't written about her for a while. My family is coming to town tomorrow to celebrate my aunt's 65th birthday (officially an old lady :-)). I can't wait to see everyone. I haven't seen George and Judy since Christmas 2006, and I was not in good shape, but that's another story. I've talked to them much and they said my cousin who I haven't seen in about 6 years is coming as well. I just adore him. He manages the bikes on the Yamaha racing team, so he's on the road, plus he has two little people he's trying to keep up with. It's always a good time when we get together.

In the meantime, I'm working eight days straight to get time off to be with them and to make up on my transfer. So this morning the alarm went off. I thought I'd just lay there fore a few minutes and kept the radio going and Callie was laying beside me. I fell back asleep for longer than I thought and woke up just in time to miss my AA meeting. Callie was still on the bed but had been very active for that couple of hours. I looked over at her and she had her stuffed (now unstuffed) porcupine in her mouth and was looking at me. She had chewed a hole in the toy, taken out the squeaker (all animals hate those), killed it and proceeded to take out every piece of stuffing that poor porcupine had in it's little body and spread it all over the bed! I didn't hear her, I didn't feel her moving...I was obviously dead to the world. I will say this: I am proud of my little girl for keeping herself busy when no one is around to entertain her. :-) She is just such a good little girl...and all puppy!

Bruises (ego and otherwise)

I often think of the forms that bruises take. During my drinking days I often had physical bruises that I could never remember where they happened or what I was doing. I was forever bumping into things, falling over, you name it. Because my body was so malnourished it took forever for bruises to heal. My ego took some heavy hits in those days because I was too caught up in self-righteousness and perfectionism. Those attitudes and habits have taken a very long time to heal in sobriety.

My body has healed, and I take vitamins, so banging myself into something has far fewer consequences, not to mention, if I get a bruise I usually know what I was doing that caused it. Bruises I used to get would turn deep purple, then that sickly yellowish, jaundice color that would last for seeming weeks, then turn red, and sometimes the redness wouldn't go away for months. I was just looking at my arms and legs, I don't have any active bruises now and my skin looks surprisingly healthy, yet a little pimply because of the weight gain from actually eating meals and not exercising enough :-)

The bruises to my ego happen frequently to this day, but I have learned to heal those very quickly. I am often in a position of knowing nothing and not having the right answer. For a perfectionist this is a tough corner to be in, yet I survive it. How I've done that is by regaining my sense of humor about life and myself and have begun to slowly accept that despite my best efforts to be perfect, I am human, and after all a very flawed one at that. Surrounding myself with other people who not only are human, but point out their human flaws (and sometimes with relish) has been extremely healthy for my ego and my self acceptance.

Scaffolding for our reproductive systems

Yesterday I started my new job. I was told that weird things sometimes happened in that store. I was not prepared for what that actually meant. I left the store for lunch with the security person and was walking through the south parking lot. It backs up to a grassy area by a credit union. I looked to my left and saw a couple of homeless people laying on the grass...not unusual. I looked back a second time to say something to the security person and caught them out of the corner of my eye. The guy was on top of the girl. Okay...I got in my car and as I was driving away looked again. He was fucking her...going to town, right there under a tree, no blanket, no attempting to be discreet, nothing! Other homeless people were standing around. It was like watching a train wreck...I kept looking and when I looked again, she had her legs up in the air and they were really going at it!

I thought, this can't be what they meant by weird things happen around here...can it?!

When I got back from lunch, there were several cop cars and officers were talking to him. She had disappeared. He was clearly under the influence of something, but was not arrested. I don't even know if he was issued a summons.

I was thinking about what my ex said. People are only brought together by their own strong sexual impulses and need for procreation. We humans are simply scaffolding for our reproductive systems. I have a lot of thoughts about that thinking on his part and how it made me feel as part of his life...but I drank...so what ground do I have to stand on? Let's just say, on so many levels, I ended up feeling completely unfulfilled in that relationship. But since we are just scaffolding I don't have a right to feel anything because it could never really be a relationship if it's simply about sex. And this act yesterday certainly lends credibility to his argument.

I have a hideout

I have a hideout. It is in plain sight. I watch life unfold before me and remain unnoticed and untouched. It is my observation deck, only mine, only I know where it is. I see everything around me, missing nothing, forgetting nothing, understanding everything. And I make notes. I will never forget what I have seen, what I have heard, what I have learned. Of some observations I regret I witnessed. I close my eyes and they seem a bad dream, but they are real, and I wish I had never seen, never heard, and never learned what the truth really was. I understand I have to see them and acknowledge them, to learn, to understand, to grow. Only then can I emerge from my hideout and face the world completely whole.

New Adventure

Tomorrow I start a new job. I don't know how I feel about it. It's not really a "new" job, it's my old job at a new store. The hours are better, the store is more profitable than the one I'm at, so there is more help to get work done. I've been basically happy where I am for the last year and few months, but it's time to move on.

I'm proud of myself for a couple of things. First, that I actually have kept a job for over a year. I couldn't do that when I was drinking, and at the end of my drinking I could get a job, but I couldn't keep it for even a month and I let a lot of people down. Second, I have built a strong foundation here. Yes, it's retail, far removed from the highly responsible, analytical and high-salary jobs I've had in the past, but I've stayed sober and begun to rebuild my confidence, and I desperately need to do that, where ever I have to do it.

I'm sad to be leaving my friends. I've nested in there for a long time now. I will see them, I'm actually going just down the street, but it's been my family and my lifeline for a long time. They've supported me, kept me somewhat sane, understood me and put up with my quirkiness in a gentle manner. I like my job because I get to interact with a lot of different people, and I have a lot of free time to really do my own thing without thinking or worrying about work on my off time. I make a living, am putting a little aside each week for some kind of future, and I have made good friends.

The good news is that I know a lot of the people I will be going to work with, so it's not like I'm jumping off the deep end of the pool. My safety net is still somewhat in tact. But change has become hard for me. It used to be something I embraced and relished, but the last change I made was a big one, and I did it recklessly and foolishly and it cost me absolutely everything, particularly my sobriety, so I am leery. I never want to compromise my sobriety again for any person, place or opportunity. I understand all too well how powerful that demon is, how it takes me over and I do some incredible things that humiliate and shame me and ultimately destroy me. Things that I would never even consider sober become absolutely natural to me under the influence, not to mention create an unbelievable self-righteousness and ability to lie to anyone about anything that is flat scary. I'm not terribly worried about drinking, I have my group that I see daily and will still see, but there is a little voice in me that I hope is there to help me. It just tells me to be aware, stay vigilant, and don't think I can ever have just one drink. That also means that I still don't trust myself, even after this long of a period of time. Many of the people I am going to work with don't know about me or my history, and I don't intend to tell them, and in that respect I have to be ever more careful and protect myself more.

It is a new adventure, another opportunity for growth and learning. I look forward to being ever stronger in my commitment to myself. I hope I don't let myself down.

Note to self: Taser no good on wild boars

BROOKSVILLE, Fla. — While normally effective on people, a Hernando deputy learned the hard way that Taser stun guns do not work very well on wild boars.


The sheriff's office reported that Deputy Joseph Tibor responded to complaints of an "extremely large pig" tearing up a resident's yard in a Brooksville neighborhood Tuesday morning. He quickly found a 450-pound boar rooting up shrubbery and threatening a water fountain.

The animal then flashed his tusks toward onlookers. Tibor tried to stop it with his Taser, but the 50,000 volts had no effect on the animal.

The boar was eventually corralled into a neighbor's trailer.

In Hawaii they have a similar animal. The amazing thing is the Macadamia Nut rests in a shell that takes a vice to open, not just any vice, a special vice made for to crack the nut. The only other thing that has been able to open a Macadamia Nut is the Hawaiian Wild Boar. I don't think I'd ever want to get to close to one of those things jaws. Thank heavens I've never seen a live one up close and personal.

God is everywhere

LINCOLN, Neb. — A judge has thrown out a Nebraska legislator's lawsuit against God, saying the Almighty wasn't properly served due to his unlisted home address. State Sen. Ernie Chambers filed the lawsuit last year seeking a permanent injunction against God.

He said God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents in Omaha, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."

Chambers has said he filed the lawsuit to make the point that everyone should have access to the courts regardless of whether they are rich or poor.

I wonder...had Senator Chambers listed God's address as "General Delivery" on the Certificate of Service if the Court may have been required to accept it...

Darwin Award Nominee

SAN DIEGO - A San Diego man accused of poaching lobsters allegedly was caught with six of the creatures stuffed down his pants.

And the winner is...the dumbshit who lost his dumbstick while being a dumb schmuck!

Courage

I told that damn cat to stay inside! Actually, that's not my cat...Mom sent me this.

Tragedy

A Grand Junction man and woman are dead, and another woman remained in the hospital late Saturday after a man shot them outside a north Grand Junction home Saturday morning. The suspected gunman also was in the hospital Saturday night after concluding a police chase by shooting himself in the head.

Grand Junction dentist Terry Fine, 61, and retired School District 51 teacher Flo Gallagher, 60, died from injuries they sustained after being shot in the Fines’ driveway at 2631 Chestnut Drive, according to the Grand Junction Police Department.

Terry Fine and his wife, Linda, were being picked up by Flo and Mike Gallagher to go on vacation together when they were approached by a man who shot them in the driveway at 8:30 a.m., police said.

There are so many things that are sad about this story. Terry was my parents dentist, I wanted to go see him, but was told he was retiring. Imagine, planning the rest of your life after years of working, and having it cut short just like that. Worse yet, yesterday was a beautiful Saturday morning, I was walking with Callie over to my parents house really enjoying the morning. Imagine, you wake up, getting ready for a vacation (they were apparently going to Las Vegas for the weekend), looking forward to it, walking out in your driveway and getting cut down. A jogger and good Samaritan were also shot. Imagine going along for your morning jog, planning the day ahead and getting shot because you happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The good Samaritan is Harry Griff, an attorney in town, he was working on his swamp cooler. Imagine just living your life, and in a second it changes. I lived in this neighborhood for a time when I came back from New Mexico. It is quiet and neighborly. Everyone knows everyone and gets along. We haven't heard anything about the shooter, but my best guess, is it was random. That makes it an enormous tragedy.

Lessons I learned from my dog

Everyone who has a dog does this. We all have great lessons to learn from our furry four-legged fruppies.

EVERYTHING is a playtoy.

Don't go into anything with expectations, you'll have more fun and never be disappointed.

When you don't get what you want, do something really cute till they cave to your will.

Hanging out in the bathtub is A-okay!

Don't worry about making mistakes, there is always opportunity to try again until you get it right...and there is usually a great treat at the end!

When you get tangled up in a big mess, stop moving. Someone will help you get untangled.

Don't let a little rain keep you inside.

If the rain does keep you inside remember your choices: a good nap, a movie and popcorn, teasing the cat, a warm bath and a nice treat after, digging in the toy box, or just hanging out doing nothing.

Don't mess with the cat, they usually start it, but you end up getting in trouble.

And the most important thing I learned from my dog: Trust your Mom, you may not agree with her, but she only has your best interest and safety at heart.

Emerson Park

Grand Junction Police are investigating the death of a woman in her 30s who was found on a bench in Emerson Park at about 5 a.m. this morning.

Police were notified of the woman’s body after someone at the park flagged down a Mesa County Sheriff’s deputy passing by in a vehicle, according to the Grand Junction Police Department.

Investigators so far have not found any evidence of foul play, police said.

The woman’s identity will be released after an investigation by the Mesa County Coroner’s Office.

Emerson Park is "the" hangout for alcoholics and drug addicts. I helped a friend fill out paperwork to divorce her addict husband...word is he's spending his days in this park.

All I can say is that I am completely grateful to the people who brought me back from the hopeless abyss of addiction. This could have been me.

Blog Surfing

I stole this picture from another blog. I hope the blog author doesn't mind...I just love pigs! I have become quite the blog surfer. It has been interesting to click on my blog and then go see what else is out there. It's very easy to do, and I like seeing what people are up to in this world. It has become my morning thing. Wake up, have coffee, write, go to a meeting, walk Callie, have breakfast, and while having breakfast I surf. I do read the news, but find it depressing and boring at the same time. Blogs are interesting. There are some impressive writers out there. Much better than I can ever hope to be.

I remember a woman from Google did an interview somewhere and said that blogging is a great way to keep up with family and friends. That is true for me. I see Scott and Mick everyday, but they don't get to see Callie all the time. My blog is a great way to keep them up to date on her progress, especially since they so graciously let me adopt her. Scott said he's finding creating his own blog pretty fun. My friend Suzy in Michigan follows my blog and I follow both of hers. I am interested in the studies she is doing on herbalism and raw foods. I don't know if I'll ever jump into the raw food pool, but it may become more integrated in my diet as I continue to get more healthy and learn more about diet in helping me stay sober. There is also a blog I found the other day called "The Inner Text". Who ever this person is, they are a truly gifted writer and very provocative. I will continue to follow that one. I like reading about other people's lives. There are several I read who are documenting their journey through sobriety, as well as other opportunities for growth and learning. Not to sound like a voyeur, because I'm not, but in this chaotic, financially troubled world, I like to hear about normal people, read about the events that shape their lives, learn what interests them, and expand my world in my own little way. I have a lot of contact with people when I'm at work, but there are very few of them that I am able to get to know on an intimate basis. Those that I do know well are so valuable to me on so many levels. I guess as an aspiring wannabe writer I wonder what makes people tick, what they think, if they think, and what is their motivation in this life.

Three things my father told me

Most of my writing practice comes from prompts. I like working with them as they tend to be provocative and somewhat frighteningly insightful to me. Much of my writing practice happens elsewhere from here; the ones I post are a simple decision to type my writing practice rather than write it, and this is as good a place as any to store it.

Three things my father (my dad, as they are two different people in my world). One, don't smoke...I did. Two, take your time in relationships, spend time getting to know people and explore who they are before diving in head first...I have never done that and have paid the price...so the most important thing he told me: Three, there are consequences for your actions...YES THERE ARE! I had to learn that one the hard way. I am incredibly stubborn, willful, selfish and pigheaded. The consequences for my actions have matched my behavior appropriately. What I have learned relatively late in life is that I do not have to react to anything. It doesn't mean I don't, it means I'm aware I don't have too. I have the capacity, the tools, the insightfulness of life's lessons learned to understand that no action can often be better than the wrong action. I know that if I make the wrong decision I then have to clean up the mess I make as a result of my behavior. That is not only something that my father told me, it is something that I take to heart and carry with me wherever I go...all because I am a sober alcoholic who now pays attention. The thing I tell myself everyday...there is absolutely nothing or no one worth drinking over.

Colorado's First Winter Storm 2008

I copied this picture from the Denver Post. Colorado is receiving its first winter storm this morning in mountains above 9,000 feet. Farmer's Almanac says it is to be a harsh winter in "these here United States". Fortunately, I have a space heater, a down blanket, warm clothes, and most importantly, a dog! With gas prices reaching new heights this year, I am turning back to electricity and many layers. As my friend Larry says, "this is going to be a five layer winter!"

2nd visit to the Mesa

I went up to the Mesa again today. It really is great having such beauty a half hour away. A friend wanted to see it, so off we went with Callie again. I also knew the colors I saw last week were not the end, only the beginning. The colors today were much more brilliant than last week, possibly because the reds are starting to show. My parents are going up this weekend to ride horses and I expect they will be in awe wherever they go. Callie did great as usual and I checked out more of Crag Crest, which is "the dog hike". I would like to hike the entire loop, but it is an eight hour hike so I need to start earlier and take someone with me who does these lengthy deals. Most likely my Mom. We have done some challenging hikes in our past and do them well together. I maintain that you have to hike to see this beauty, it can't been enjoyed thoroughly from the road.