Sunday, August 3, 2008
I've been unbelievably mentally exhausted over the last couple of months. Trying to work on my book project, training and playing with Callie, managing the front end at my store, taking over scheduling at work, learning back up bookkeeping, walking to my meetings with a girlfriend to make sure I squeeze in aerobic exercise during the day, doing some weight training to tone up, beginning to date again and meet new people, attempting to define the life I want in sobriety, buying a new computer, learning my digital camera, cleaning house...Whew! My life is not busier than the average person, this is probably nothing to some mother's out there. Thank God I don't have kids! My life on one hand is extremely easy and fun and light, yet, on the other hand, extremely busy and hectic. I am relearning to live again after the hell of addiction and there is just a lot to do in a 24-hour period. To add to it, my brain won't shut up. It runs in circles with a million different thoughts that makes me just crazy! I taught myself a mantra a few years ago after a head injury to calm myself during panic attacks that was one of the results of the head injury. I have gotten away from those quieting moments as life has picked up momentum. Today, I couldn't get rested enough. I'd lay down and sleep and wake up more exhausted, and my brain was churning. Finally, I laid down and chanted my mantra for a full half hour. Finally!! I feel rested, rejuvenated and ready to hit the road for another busy afternoon and evening! I write this as a reminder to myself...don't forget the meditation!